Darker days

This picture represents the fact that even when I seem happy underneath I’m not and i just wear a mask.Sometimes maybe that mask can crack and break when I can’t take it anymore.I am getting to a boiling point yesterday was so fun for me and I enjoyed it then my mom over the days has been oversensitive and pissing me the fuck off.At this moment I hate both my parents I am not super mad right now ,but the thing is is my dad has anger issues and my mom gets angry and is oversensitive.I feel like they should both die.I want them to die.Stop causing stress in my fucking life because you two are immature bitches.Another thing is my mom asked me to drive her to find a newspaper for a fucking puzzle so i had to drive around town and I said this is the last spot so we went home and then she was drunk and still wanted to go to that fucking gas stationa nd drove drunk and risked a DUI.Fucking stupid idiot over a puzzle your fucking stupid alcoholic bitch.And again fuck you dad you piece of shit.Tonight my parents got in an argument and neither ca grow up and stop and always has to get the last word shut the fuck up.It is pissing me off to the point im gonna have to call the cops on myself eventually if this shit continues.I keep hearing shit about hurting them too and im thinking with it and if this continues i need to go.I don’t know what would be better for them to die or me.Maybe if i died they would fucking realize something ,but i don’t really want to die and would rather them be gone.This shit is annoying I told my mom I didn’t love anyone the other day and she was hurt by it or something i dont give a fuck.Now she is treating me differently for a few days ,but now she was talking to me normally.Fucking alcoholic and anger issues from my parents fuck em die.worthless scum.No reason for them to exist.I am not going to hut them right now ,but these are thoughts and voices that are going in my mind. something that might be small to others manifests in me a  lot.It is because I am more unstable now then before.I don’t care anymore im giving up slowly Im falling to the dark.Yet i thought i was reaching the light yesterday.What a fucking world huh.Fuck this world fuck everyone fuck everything fuck my parents fuck what anyone thinks fuck everyone.If i could id get all of us off this goddamn planet and wiped from existence even if i had to face the most gruesome hell.I still wish i could get help from god ,but the more i see this shit and from my so called christian dad becaing the exact opposite of a christian I wonder why should i believe in god he isn’t helping me if he loved me why would he let shit like this happen.maybe it is because free will I don’t know but now i am thinking all religion is fake as fuck and everything is bullshit.I don’t give a fuck about shit My grandma told me the other day when my moms tweaker friend was over I have to see things from her perspective well guess what i can’t see from others.Fucking  bitches burn in hell I wouldnt care if you both burned in hell for eternity.Hey guess what dad since your such a christian I would love to see you judged with my own eyes thats why if you died i’d die too just to see it.You guys mean nothing in the world anyway you guys are nobodys nothing you have no impact on society other then family.No one cares for you including me so fuck out of my life I wish I could just be somewhere else not like moving away but just in a different plane of existence.I wish i was some god so i could create the world and watch people suffer fucking pieces of shit.I wouldn’t make everyone suffer just a lot.If i was all knowing I would know all the scumbags and they would suffer.I don’t even know what im talking about these are just random thoughts ,I don’t even feel safe to myself sometimes and all this shit is making my mental state worse I can’t do this shit anymore this is all fucking bullshit.Im done for today before things go too out of hand ,but as a last thing to say is i know for a fact no one is perfect inf act everybody is the exact opposite.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s