This picture represents me falling into the dark void that is my mind.It has been a little bit since I last posted ,but since then I have been to Hawaii and a party!I am not really excited about those ,but let me talk about it.I went at 5 am to the airport and went to board right when the doors were gonna close we almost didn’t make it.I took some videos and pictures while we took off as i had the window seat both ways and when we were in the air it looked like a sea of clouds.Here is a pic.
I found it really beautiful as i started liking beautiful sights lately.So we landed in Honolulu and first things I notice were how many asians were there and the heat and humidity. We had to wait around 3 PM to get our room and we arrived at 10 am.So for a whole while we walked around and had a weird bus driver from the aiport who laughed at all his jokes and talked funny.Not saying anything badly about him just that it was a bit odd but his laugh was sure funny.Apparently I have luck or something ,but when my grandma went to get our room they said all of them were booked so they gave us a penthouse for the price of a regular room what luck.The penthouse was as big as a house like a small house.Even though we were in Hawaii I had anxiety being in a new place and complained and wanted to go home the first day.I was dizzy and exhausted because i did not eat or drink prior to the flight at 5 am so i wouldnt have to use the restroom on the plane.I like asians the most so it was cool the whole city was filled with them ,but I didnt talk to any.I got a friend some pearl earrings ,but the most thing about this is the only thing i did in hawaii was stay in my room and go to the wedding for 5 minutes ,because i hate weddings i didnt want to stay.Wwe were there for 3 days and i called an uber back to the airport and then boom i was back.Then i was worying about going to the party and decided i wouldnt go and contemplated over 50 times about going.In the end i told myself i had nothing better to do so i went ,but i was so nervous i decided i wouldnt drink and took 2 2 mg klonopins and 1 2 mg xanax.I was hoping i wouldnt black out which i didnt ,because i have a tolerance.I got there and regretted taking the meds because i wanted to drink and have fun.I ended up leaving at 9 pm early because i just wanted to go home.It was fun so i don’t know why i left.Anyway my one friend sent me a picture of midol thats for period cramps.I was going to say something back but he doesnt deserve a reaction hes just a piece of shit in general.He always goes off the deep end and goes to far noone enjoys his company and he probably doesnt even know why people dislike him.Im not going to talk anymore about hm today just wanted to get that off my chest.Overall Im a little less stressed out.I’ll write again tomorrow ,but in the meantime enjoy a couple pictures from hawaii.Please enjoy the beauty.
Daily life with Schizophrenia 